


The Day Zim Finally Won

by DoomedKelpie



Category: Invader Zim
Genre: Crack, Zim wins
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-03
Updated: 2020-03-03
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:35:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 954
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25534456
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DoomedKelpie/pseuds/DoomedKelpie
Summary: That's right. Zim actually won...
Kudos: 1





	The Day Zim Finally Won

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this as part of my final project in a science fiction class I took.

It was, unfortunately, another normal day on the planet Earth. Children were crying, squirrels were scurrying, and most of the human population was doing something of absolutely no consequence or value.

Zim and Dib were at Skool, as they often were, due to, at least in Dib's case, compulsory education laws. Zim was mostly there to observe humans and try to enact his evil plans, but no one except Dib knew that (well, Gaz also knew, but she simply didn't care).

On this particular day, Ms. Bitters was rambling about doom as always. The polar bears were doomed. The planet was doomed. The universe was doomed. Everything was doomed. Having learned this almost every day for the entire school year, the class was extremely bored. All eyes were glued on the clock as it slowly ticked closer and closer to the release bell (well, except Dib's eyes, which were always glued on Zim just in case the alien decided to try something). Finally, after an eternity of waiting, the bell rang, and children swarmed out of every possible exit.

Zim was one of the last students to leave the building, but he walked with a spring in his step, as he was sure that his next plan to destroy humanity would work. As expected, Dib not-so-secretly followed Zim out of the building and down the sidewalk. Of course, Dib could see that Zim was acting suspiciously, like always.

Suddenly, Zim hopped over a fence and into someone's backyard. Dib tried to follow him, but Zim seemed to have disappeared as soon as he went over the fence.

"I'LL FIND YOU, ZIM! JUST YOU WAIT!" he shouted.

"SHUT UP!"

Ignoring the random voice that hindered his saving of the planet, Dib continued to look for Zim. He looked in bushes, in trees, behind dogs, and in the trash cans (Dib was surprised to not find Zim there), but alas, he could find no sign of the alien.

As such, Dib had to give up for the day (well, he could have gone to check Zim's base, but the narration dictates that he did not). So, Dib started to make his way home in defeat…

Until he happened to come across Zim again!

"Zim! What are you planning?!" Dib questioned as he saw the alien.

Zim, however, apparently didn't hear Dib despite the volume at which Dib questioned. Instead, Zim, kept walking down the sidewalk. Dib watched him step onto a crushed soda can with his booted foot, making it shift slightly. Zim looked down at the object and glared evilly.

"You DARE hinder the path of ZIIIIIIM?" the alien asked the soda can. "TrEMbLe BefOre mEeeEeEEeeee!"

Of course, being an inanimate object, it did not, in fact, tremble.

"So terrified you can't even tremble, eh?" continued Zim. "GOOD!"

And so, Zim continued on his way, inwardly believing that he had vanquished a vile Earth Beast rather than just stepped on an already-crushed soda can. Dib continued to follow the alien menace, thinking that he must be so awesomely sneaky that Zim hadn't noticed him. The two of them walked and walked and walked some more. They walked for so long that another episode would have already started by now if this was a real Invader Zim episode (but since it isn't, there is no 20-minute time constraint). Finally, Zim stopped in front of… his secret base!

Zim strolled up to his front door and pulled it open, glancing around to make sure he wasn't spotted by any enemies. This was when he finally spotted Dib.

"DIB!" he exclaimed.

"ZIM!" Dib responded.

"DIB!" Zim repeated.

"ZIM!"

"DIB!"

"ZIM!"

This went on for quite a while. It was, clearly, an intense battle of wits. It only ended when, to the shock of the world, Professor Membrane showed up!

"DAD?! What are you doing here?" Dib loudly asked his father.

"Hello, little boy. Who might you be?" Professor Membrane replied.

"Dad, it's me, Dib! Your son?" Dib explained.

"Oh, riiiiiight. You should be doing your homework, son," admonished the scientist.

"I can't do homework while the world is in peril!" Dib protested. "I have to defeat Zim! You know, the alien? The one that's trying to enslave the entire planet?"

Professor Membrane attempted to scoot Dib toward the direction of their house.

"You can play with your little friend later," he said. "Anyway, I have to go do real science now."

"What? But this is Zim's house."

"Don't be silly, son. This is Doctor Miz's house. He's a renowned scientist since yesterday," Professor Membrane told him.

Sure enough, Dib looked up to see that Zim had changed his disguise. He was now wearing a lab coat, glasses, and a blonde wig instead of his usual black one. His skin was still green. He was a master of disguise.

"But dad-!"

"No buts, son. Only homework."

And so, Dib was forced to go home to complete his homework (which he would get a 100% on simply because the answer to every question was just saying that everything was doomed). Meanwhile, Professor Membrane entered Zim's secret base and descended into the alien's lab.

And thus, the end of humanity as it was known came. Professor Membrane, being the smartest person ever, easily helped Zim create a machine that would end the world (although Zim told him that it would just be used to make toast). Zim used the machine immediately, and there was no one to stand in his way since Dib was still doing homework.

Against literally everyone's expectations aside from his own, Zim finally won…

...And then Zim woke up from his dream because everything is futile in the end and there are no happy endings.

The End.


End file.
